


Don't Let it In

by ChalithraLavellan



Series: Chalithra Lavellan Modern day AU [1]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Kissing, Past Rape/Non-con, Tenderness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-14
Updated: 2015-11-13
Packaged: 2018-05-01 12:23:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5205749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChalithraLavellan/pseuds/ChalithraLavellan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Formerly "Solas and Lavellan Sing off" but instead of clicking edit tags I accidentally deleted it.</p><p>Solas is a Rockstar, Chalithra is a Popstar, both got a record deal with the Inquisition but first meet at charity event. Solas is intrigued by Chalithra's bright and colourful personality, Chalithra loves Solas' calming presence.</p><p>I'm just gonna update this whenever I come up with new chapters, if people are interested.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The One where Solas and Chalithra meet for the first time.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [salesman](https://archiveofourown.org/users/salesman/gifts), [benedictcumberlongpond](https://archiveofourown.org/users/benedictcumberlongpond/gifts).



Solas didn’t like having to collaborate with anyone. Most of his music was just him, his guitar and maybe a few back up instruments. He was still insanely popular, more than he felt he had any right to be, given he hadn’t been on a tour in ages.

He hated touring, the fans throwing themselves at him, people trying to get him to do talkshow, sell their products. All he wanted was to play his music. The rest was Bullshit, and he hated it.

His agent felt he could do more for his public image by doing a live t.v. show, a charity event. he hated those more than concerts. he thought if people really wanted to help, they should give money to no bullshit charities the type that actually get shit done for people in need.

That didn’t fly with his agent, Josephine Montilyet, who wasn’t listening to reason. apparently the fact he was giving a big chunk of his paychecks to charities of his liking wasn’t the right way, because those charities where low profile and wasn’t actually being noticed by anyone.

He liked his agent, she was one of the best, kept the throngs of fans away from him and was by far the best negotiator he had ever encountered. She usually knew to pick her battles, which meant there had to be a good reason for her to pester him about this. So after arguing with her for the sake of arguing, Solas agreed to do this, but reserved the right to be grumpy about it.  
  
Josephine had also managed to convince him to do a duet with another client of hers during the event. some vapid elven female singer, barely 20 years old, rising to fame quickly. very popular at the moment. he had never heard any of her music. Maybe was because when he sought out new music, he much prefered finding old vinyl records of some long lost artists than listen to spotify for the latest tracks. He was assured by Josephine that she was an exquisite singer.  
  
He had heard through the grapevine that she was sometimes named jokingly “The Herald of Andraste” by the media. he didn’t know why she got that nickname, nor did he care. The media still called him “The Dread Wolf” after his first ever album was called “Fen’Harel”, nearly 15 years prior.

He didn’t actually believed in the old gods, but he found their stories fascinating, once he had dug deep through the myths and found how incredibly flawed they all were in the original stories. a far cry from the picture perfect deities modern day elves paints them to be.  
  
Solas had refused to rehearse with the “Herald” as long as he could, finding all possible excuse why the days the girl had picked out were impossible. he mostly did it to spite Josephine.

On the day of the event he had no choice but to do the duet, live, with a partner that had he didn’t know at all. He wasn’t too worried, he knew was if she had an contract with the same label as he did, she had to be at least half way decent at what she does, so going in unprepared shouldn’t prove too taxing.

He grumbled as he looked around for Josephine, hoping she could point out the “Herald” to him before the song. He had no idea what she looked like. After spending a good 10 mins trying to find Josephine, he accepted the fact that he would just have just sing a song with a person he had never seen before.  
  
Solas went to the refreshment table to get water before their set. there was a girl standing next to the table, like she was trying to decide what to get. not that there were an awful lot of choices. Tea, coffee, some juices and water. Solas looked at her again, mostly because she was wearing an ensemble that was… interesting to say the least.

mix and match of colours and patterns,  parts of her clothes were hugging her figure tight and parts were big and loose and flowing and semi see through. She also wore big rings on her fingers, probably about 20 of bracelets on each wrist, big earing hoops, a trail of studs all the way up her elven ears and a very flashy septum ring. the only place were she wasn’t wearing an impossible amount of jewelry was round her neck where she wore a simple necklace with a wood carved wolf on it.  
  
As he took out the styrofoam cup from the stack of cups, he noticed that she started to cringe. He turned to her eyebrow arched:  

“what?” He asked.

She turned to him, nervously twirling her fingers, finally asking “could you get me a cup? I.. mmm.. I have sensitive ears and the noise of styrofoam… it very unsettling for me.”

Solas gave a sigh but did as she asked. This time, the reaction was even more than just a slight cringe, and Solas couldn’t help but to feel sorry for her. He filled the cup with water and handed it to her.

“thank you so much. usually I ask my agent to make sure there are at least some paper cups or even glasses but I felt weird asking the event manager. my agent kept saying I should just say I’m concerned about the environment, but paper cups doesn’t really scream ‘pro-nature’ does it?” she said giggling a little.

Solas gave a slight smile. She had those blood writing marks, Vallaslin, dedicated to June, if his memory served. which either meant she was one of those elves that were trying to be edgy, or she was Dalish, nomads who actually believe in the old gods. Solas wasn’t sure which was worse. He took a closer look at her.  
  
She was shorter than the average female elf, which made her terribly short compared to him, as he was taller than the average male elf. her skin, porcelain white, almost translucent, had very prominent freckles all of it, were it was exposed, anyways. her hair was very long, bleached and then died in a mixture of pastel colours, and her big eyes were lilac coloured. her facial feature were not displeasing to the eye.

All of a sudden she was laughing. Solas realised she had asked him something and he hadn’t answered.

“Sorry, I was a little preoccupied, what was it that you wanted?”

She smiled: “I just asked what you would do here, you are performing, right?” Solas nodded.

She sighed. “I guess I’ll see, won’t I? I’m Chalithra Lavellan, by the way.”

still smiling, hand out stretched. Solas shook it firmly, but quickly.

“Chalithra, you say? not a very common name for a Dalish.” Solas was trying his hardest not to sound like he was prying.

She laughed again. “You caught that? Not many do. But yes I am Dalish, and no my name isn’t strictly speaking an Elvhen name.”

Chalithra leaned in like she was telling him a secret. “My mother spent time in Nevarra after her studies before going back to the Free Marches Reservation. she was fascinated by culture. She was gonna name me Cassandra, but the Clan refused, because it’s not an Elvhen name. So she invented a name. sounds more Elvhen than Nevarran and no one needs to be the wiser. well, except you. promise you won’t tell anyone?”.  She bit her lower lip slightly while trailing her hand up his arm.

Solas scoffed, “of course the Dalish wouldn’t allow a human name for one of their own. You are ‘Last of the Elvhen’ are you not?”

Chalithra wa taken a bit back from his statement, retracting her hand. “Is that so bad? we only want to hold on to our culture, even if we have limited means to do so.”

Solas looked at her sternly. “Such culture. you live in huts. you’re nomads. if the Elvhen ruins that have been discovered in recent years are any indication, what the Dalish ways are a far cry from what the old Elvhen empire was like.”

Chalithra was pulling away from him. “We try to. It’s more than most. maybe it’s not the old ways, but it’s our way. There has to be some worth in that, don’t you think? Even if it’s not perfect.” She was staring into her cup, tilting it slightly back and forth.

“Perhaps, but your mother studied away from your clan, did she not? surely she taught you the value of taking everything with a grain of salt.” Solas spat out.

Chalithra was frowning, and the mentioned of her mother seemed to bring painful memories to her. “That she did. but you forget, I’m here, I have seen things with my own eyes. we may cling on to old gods, but how is that different than worshipping Andraste? or the Maker?”

She was looking at him, challenging him. “I don’t think the old gods are better but at least, in our stories, even our “watered down” stories you can tell they are deeply flawed, just like us. Andraste is too perfect. how can inspire people when she never makes any mistake herself? That’s what I believe.”

There was a spark, something Solas hadn’t seen before. Solas, who had previously thought her obnoxious and intrusive, now wanted nothing more than to see her smile again.

“Ir Abelas, Da’len. I’ve been told by many people that I can be harsh and unapologetic. If there’s anyway I can make it up to you..” Solas was at loss.

Of course he knew insulting her people wouldn’t be a wise course of action. But he did and now he wished nothing more than to turn back time and take those words back.  
  
Chalithra seemed lost in thoughts. Then she turned to him with a wicked grin.

“It’s alright ‘Hahren’, I’ll accept your apology, if you ask me out to dinner.” Solas was dumbstruck.

“you wanna go out to dinner? with me?” Chalithra beamed like a sun.

“why yes ‘Hahren’, I would love to go out with you. but not tonight. I believe we are both preoccupied.” She giggled, his harsh words seemed to have evaporated in thin air and Solas felt like he could breathe again.

They shifted into less antagonistic silence again. She took her long hair and draped it over her left shoulder, exposing her right one. there were freckles on her shoulders too. Solas wondered if she had freckles everywhere. That thought made his mouth dry up fast. Solas swallow hard, he refilled his cup of water and drank it in one go. He then turned to Chalithra that was still smiling at him, tilting her head slightly.

“I have to be going, I’ll see you around?” he didn’t wait for a reply before walking away, practically running.

“wait, you never said your name!” Chalithra shouted, giggling slightly.

Solas turned around, still walking “I’m Solas.” He turned on his heel and hurried away.  
  
He wasn’t used to being flirted with like that. or just being flirted with. despite his popularity, he hardly left his house, so he wasn’t used to having anyone talking to him at all. And unlike Josephine that pick her battles with Solas carefully, Chalithra actually challenged him. He wasn’t used to not that. and he wasn’t sure if he liked or disliked it.

  
He was on the stage waiting for his time to perform when he saw her again. she was walking up to the stage, and when she saw him, she waved him.

 

The presenter ran to her.“So, Herald of Andraste, how are you today?”

Solas couldn’t believe what he was hearing. so that’s the singer he was about to perform with. How ironic.

“Please, Dorian, I’ve told you, It’s Chalithra, I’m not comfortable with that title, makes me feel like I need to be pure and perfect. and we both know I far from that.” The Presenter, Dorian laughed.

After a brief talk about her career, Chalithra was given the stage. Solas moved closer. this was a great opportunity to hear her sing, see if Josephine was right about her.  
  
Chalithra was cheered tremendously by the live audience.

“normally I wouldn’t sing something that wasn’t quite ready, but I feel like you guys deserve to hear a sneak peak from my next album. this song is for you, ‘Hahren’.” Chalithra looks at Solas, grinning ear to ear.

Lovely. he wonders what kind of song she intends to sing for him, personally. The audience goes a little wild but settles down when the music starts. Chalithra circle around, then the singing starts.

**  
  
**

_“Coming in unannounced, drag my nails on the tile_

_I just followed your scent, you can just follow my smile_

_All of your flaws are aligned with this mood of mine_

_Cutting me to the bone, nothing left to leave behind_

__

_You ought to keep me concealed just like I was a weapon_

_I didn't come for a fight but I will fight till the end_

_And this one might be a battle, might not turn out okay_

_You know you look so Fereldan, but you feel so Orlais eh-eh-eeh_

__

_And I love the way you hurt me_

_It's irresistible, yeah_

_I love the way, I love the way_

_I love the way you hurt me, baby_

_I love the way, I love the way_

_I love the way you hurt me, baby”_

  
  
Solas now sees why her clothes where the way they were. with clever usage of lights, the clothes looked so drastically different that it was like she was wearing completely different outfits.

_“I'm gonna get you to burst just like you were a bubble_

_Frame me up on your wall just to keep me out of trouble_

_Like a moth getting trapped in the light by fixation_

_Truly free, love it baby, I'm talking no inflation_

 

_Too many war wounds and not enough wars_

_Too few rounds in the ring and not enough settled scores_

_Too many sharks, not enough blood in the waves_

_You know I give my love a f-f-five letter na-na-name_

__

_And I love the way you hurt me_

_It's irresistible, yeah_

_I love the way, I love the way_

_I love the way you hurt me, baby_

_I love the way, I love the way_

_I love the way you hurt me, baby”_

  
  
As is expected from a pop star Chalithra was dancing but the dance wasn’t the other the top suggestive twerking, it was daring yes, but more like a fighting stance. Everytime she sang the chorus though, she looked directly at him. Solas could feel his ear heating up and he sincerely hoped it didn’t show.

_“You're second hand smoke, second hand smoke_

_I breathe you in, but, honey, I don't know what you're doing to me_

_Mon chéri, but the truth catches up with us eventually_

_Try to say live, live and let live_

_But I'm no good, good at lip service_

_Except when they're yours, mi amor_

_I'm coming for you and I'm making war_

_And I still love the way you hurt me_

_It's irresistible, yeah_

_I love the way, I love the way_

_I love the way you hurt me, baby_

_I love the way, I love the way_

_I love the way you hurt me, baby”_

Solas was to follow her set, and he made a last minute change to it. he was gonna sing just one of his older more popular songs, but after hearing her practically declaring a fight with him, he decided to turn the table, so to speak.  
  
“this is also a new song, I hadn’t quite finished the lyrics to it but I made a friend today that sparked an idea. this is for you, ‘Da’len’.” Without giving any warning he started playing.

  
_“You know better babe, you know better babe,_

_Than to look at it, look at it like that._

_You know better babe, you know better babe,_

_Than to talk to it, talk to it like that._

__

_Don't give it a hand, offer it a soul_

_Honey, make this easy._

_Leave it to the land, this is what it knows_

_Honey, that's how it sleeps._

__

_Don't let it in with with no intention to keep it_

_Maker’s breath, don't be kind to it._

_Honey don't feed it, it will come back.”_

  
The first half of the song didn’t make much impact more than just smiling from her. Solas, grinning, planning his trap very carefully.

_“You know better babe, you know better babe,_

_Than to smile at me, smile at me like that_

_You know better babe, you know better babe,_

_Than to hold me just, hold me just like that._

__

_I know who I am when I'm alone_

_Something else when I see you_

_You don't understand, you should never know_

_How easy you are to need_

_Don't let me in with with no intention to keep me_

_Maker’s breath, don't be kind to me._

_Honey don't feed me I will come back.”_

__

He glanced at her a few times. She was trying to hide the blush behind her hand. good.

_“Can't be unlearned_

_I've known the warmth of your doorways_

_Through the cold, I'll find my way back to you._

__

_Oh please, give me mercy no more._

_That's a kindness you can't avoid!_

_I want you baby tonight, as sure as you're born,_

_You'll hear me howling outside your door._

_Don't you hear me howling babe?_

_Don't you hear me howling babe?_

_Don't you hear me howling babe?_

_Don't you hear me howling_

_Don't you hear me howling_

_Don't you hear me howling babe?”_

  
  
The crowd when wild after this song, he could tell Josephine was not happy, but she couldn’t say anything for the duet with Chalithra followed his set. Dorian was back on the stage, asking some standard question, making joke, mostly on Solas’ expense, before finally giving them the stage.   
  
It had been agreed, one-sidedly by Josephine, to sing a song Solas had written ages ago but never found anyone to sing it with.

“So you are the Herald I’ve heard so much about. I hope you know the song well enough” Solas enquired Chalithra.

She seemed unphased by it “I do. and I have a suggestion to make, if you’re willing to make a last minute change.”

Solas arched one eyebrow “Fair enough. what is it that you suggest?”

Chalithra and Solas each grabbed a guitar, placed themselves on the 2 chair that now were in the middle of the stage. someone dog whistle when they sat down. There was some loud cheering. Chalithra told him the change and Solas nodded in agreement. Solas began to pluck the chords on his guitar and the audience quieted down.  
  
Solas began to sing

  
_“I have never known peace, like the damp grass that yields to me._

_I have never known hunger, like these insects that feast on me._

_A thousand teeth, and yours among them, I know._

_Our hungers appeased, our heartbeats becoming slow.”_

  
  
Chalithra joined in for the chorus.

_“We lay here for years or for hours._

_Thrown here or found, to freeze or to thaw._

_So long we become the flowers._

_Two corpses we were, two corpses I saw._

__

_And they'd find us in a week,_

_When the weather gets hot._

_After the insects have made their claim._

_I'd be home with you,_

_I'd be home with you”_

  
  
Chalithra sung the second verses alone.

_“I have never known sleep, like the slumber that creeps to me._

_I have never known colour, like this morning reveals to me._

_And you haven't moved an inch, such that I would not know._

_If you sleep always like this, the flesh calmly going cold.”_   
  


it gave Solas ample time to listen to her sing. her music was vastly different from his and yet here she was singing his song, and it was perfect.

_“We lay here for years or for hours_

_Your hand in my hand_

_So still and discreet_

_So long we become the flowers_

_We'd feed well the land_

_And worry the sheep_

_And they'd find us in a week_

_When the cattle show fear_

_After the insects have made their claim_

_After the foxes have known our taste_

_I'd be home with you_

_I'd be home with you”_

  
  
Here began the changes Chalithra had proposed, while she kept singing the second part of the chorus, he sung the first part. It was quite brilliant, although Solas was probably not gonna admit that to her. Yet.

_They'd find us in a week (Lay here for years or for hours)_

_When the weather gets hot (So long we become the flowers)_

_They'd find us in a week (Lay here for years or for hours)_

_When the cattle shows fear (So long we become the flowers)_

They both stopped playing their guitars at the same time, only singing the chorus

_“And they'd find us in a week_

_When the buzzards get loud_

_After the insects have made their claim_

_After the foxes have known our taste_

_After the raven has had its say_

__

_I'd be home with you_

_I'd be home with you_

_I'd be home with you_

_I'd be home with you_

_I'd be home with you_

_I'd be home with you”_

Solas had quite forgotten where they were until Dorian came swooping back. “That was absolutely stunning! how long have you guys rehearsed this?!?”

Chalithra answered before Solas could. “Well, this is the first time we actually get to sing it together, I mean we had rehearsed it on our own but we didn’t seem to be able to find the time to actually get together.”

Chalithra grinned and bat an eye to Solas. Dorian praised them some more before letting them both go.

The show came to a conclusion, everyone was thrilled, lots of money was raised, of which, Solas was sure only a small fraction would be used to help people. plenty had gone out their way to go and try to get Solas and Chalithra to sign with their labels together, try to get them to use the angle of her being Dalish, him being “Fen’Harel” some sort of starstruck lovers deal, which made both of them roll their eyes in unison before taking their leave.  
  
While the roadies and the tech crews worked taking down all the equipment, Chalithra sat down on a big electric guitar amp, dangling her feet.

Solas walk to her, arms crossed. “when we were talking, by the refreshment table, you knew who I was, correct?”

Chalithra leaned backwards on the amp resting on her hands. “not at first no. but then you started talking about the Dalish, and I knew. I have listened to your music, you know. that’s why when Josephine insisted on I do a duet with someone, I asked for you.”

Solas moved closer. “you wanted to do a duet with me? why?”

Chalithra got on her knees so that she was now at an eye level with Solas. “is it so hard to believe that I might like your music, ‘Fen’Harel’?”

Solas rolled his eyes. “please don’t call me that.”

Chalithra grinned “Alright, Solas, I confess, I did have a slightest crush on your voice before meeting you. I have been a huge fan since I was very young.”

That comment made Solas feel very old. He looked down. “And now?”

  
  
Chalithra pulls on his shirt. “Now, oh now.. I have a major crush on you.”

Solas stifles laugh, and looks directly at her. “Really? you don’t think I’m rude? condescending? a little too old for you? you did call me ‘Hahren’ repeatedly.”

Chalithra tilts her head. “Oh you are most definitely rude. and condescending, but you didn’t say anything I haven’t thought myself in private. although it can be a bit… hard hearing it from someone else. and your age doesn’t bother me. does my age bother you?”

Solas thought about it for a while, then shakes his head.

Chalithra hums pleasantly. “But at any rate, it’s nice to talk to someone that isn’t tipping on eggshells around you.”

Solas becoming bolder with every advance she made, puts a hand on her hip. “What about Dorian? he seemed to care little about how you felt.”

Chalithra snaked her arms around his neck, giggling. “ah yes, but I’m a … little too feminine for his liking, if you catch my drift.”

Solas circles his arms around her. “This is a bad idea.” He murmurs, constantly shifting his focus between her eyes and her mouth.

“definitely.” She murmurs back, pulling him closer.

 **  
**Solas sighs but moves in a little closer. “you’re just gonna do what you want, regardless of what I say?”  
  
Chalithra runs a hand over his scalp. “maybe. besides, can you come up with any legitimate reasons why we can’t do this?” she asks teasingly, pressing her chest to his, ghosting a kiss onto his lips.  
  
“no” Solas says finally, before kissing her.


	2. The One where Solas finds out about Chalithra's Dark past and doesn't know how to cope.

Solas had insisted upon they took things slowly and at least attempt to keep it out of the media, mostly because right after the charity event, there had immediately been speculations on their relationship. Chalithra didn’t mind, She knew a part of being a star was being gossiped about, but she prefered if it was about her music and not her personal life.

Their duet, was according to Josephine a massive hit but also, a lot of people were convinced Solas and Chalithra where only steps away from kissing live on television. Josephine didn’t approve of their relationship, mostly because they were both her clients and a breakup could mean a financial loss for her. She however made it perfectly clear that she would not interfere.

Almost 3 months after the Charity event, there were still some tabloids using the headline. “the air was thick with lust and love at the biggest event of the season!”. Others tried to use her Dalish roots to be more creative, which was quickly becoming a personal pet peeve of Solas’ “The Dread Wolf and The Halla!”, Really, if they are gonna print that drabble, to a little research. Halla indeed, her Vallaslin was a dedication to June which would make it “The Dread Wolf and The Tinker”. Chalithra thought it was so cute how offended he was on her behalf, that kissing Solas when the dread wolf and halla references was used became almost a tradition.

***

Chalithra’s flatmate, Sera, was up when Chalithra made her way down into the kitchen. Sera wasn’t usually up before her, the only reason she’d be up before her was that she hadn’t gone to bed yet. Chalithra sat down on a stool next to Sera, still wearing Pajamas and her hair braided into one big braid, messed up from sleeping.  
  
“hey, elfy, there a new Magazine with you and Baldy McOldballs. I think you should just go to him and smooch him now, get it over with!” Sera disinterestedly waved “The Black Emporium”  into Chalithra’s face.

“that bad huh?” Chalithra lazily took the magazine out of Sera hand and tried to stifle a yawn. “give me the gist of it, I need a cup of coffee before I can ingest that much shit.”

Sera laughed loudly. ”Nothing they haven’t written before”  Sera stands up and starts dramatize the headline “Solas and Chalithra, starstruck lovers, are they the reincarnation of the dread wolf and his unknown lover?”

Chalithra spit out parts of her coffee. “they wrote what now?!? augh, this is gonna send Solas into a frenzy! there’s literally nothing on Fen’Harel that suggest he had lover!! Where are getting their information on old Elvhen Lore? don’t tell me, it’s a -” and Sera finished the sentenced with her “a reliable human source.” they both laughed.  
  
“I’m calling Josephine, if only to tell her not to show Solas ‘The Black Emporium’.” Chalithra picks up her phone, stands up, pacing around, starts playing with Cole's hair, who had just walked in and grabbed a cup of coffee. “Hello Josephine? you could keep ‘The Black Emporium’ from Solas this morning?” There was a bit of silence. “well if you see him before I do tell him, ok?” Chalithra hung up. “She didn’t know where he was. strange.”

“I thought Baldy was recording to day? that’s why he couldn’t stay the night?”  
  


Chalithra hugged Cole from behind and was about to say something when the doorbell rang. She ran down to the front door. It was Solas. he was somehow a lot more casual than she gotten used to with him, wearing a black blazer, white t-shirt, dark jeans. She could get used to that look. She took a deep breath then opened the door.

“Is it true?” Solas was in the house, talking before Chalithra could get a word in. Solas was angry but Chalithra sensed that it was aimed at someone else.

“Is what true? Solas, what’s wrong?” She took his hand, and led him into her living room.  
  
Solas looked at her, his brow furrowed. “Master Tethras hasn’t called yet?”  
  
Chalithra shrugged. “I don’t know, who’s ‘Master Tethras’?”

Solas sighed and slumped into the sofa, running his hand over his scalp. “Varric Tethras used to write music critique back in the day but is now more focused on political scandals. he’s also amongst the few people I count as my friends.” Solas swallowed hard.  
  
Chalithra sat down next to him, rubbing big circles on his back. “and what does that have to do with me? Solas? why are you here questioning me when you should be recording? what’s going on?  
  
Solas looked really uncomfortable. “Master Tethras.. Varric, is writing a piece on a Elvhen politician, Keeper Deshanna Lavellan. From the Free Marches. One of her opponents, Denton Le Guen, a politician from a long line of politicians, “hired” Varric to find dirt on her. It seems that there was a… sex trade going on in the Lavellan reservation. And that you were a part of it. He doesn’t know we’re dating but he deducted rightly so that we were friends. I told him it would be greatly appreciated if he would keep you out of the press, for now, but he says his editor wants it to be published. Soon.”  
  
Chalithra stood up and ran to bathroom. She could feel the bile rising in her throat. after she threw up, She cleaned herself, slowly. She knew logically that one day she’d have to tell him, but it was too soon. or maybe not. maybe it had be like bandaids. rip it off in one go, quicker the better. right? right.

Solas nearly ran to her when she came back. “Are you okey? I don’t… what can I do?” Chalithra motioned him to sit back on the sofa. Solas stared at her, while Chalithra got her into a mental space to tell the story.

“I’ve told you how my mother went to Nevarra to study. But I may have altered the facts alittle didn’t tell you that.. that’s where she met my father. they hadn’t been together very long when my mom found out she was pregnant with me. The clan was.. not happy to say the least. called dad a flat ear and sometimes even a shem. Since mom refused to have an abortion or stop dating dad, she was forbidden to go back. Even so Elder Deshanna, now Keeper Deshanna, the only elder that didn’t want to kick my mother out, suggested it would be good for me to at least learn about the Dalish, so I was sent there every summer.”

Sera and Cole came in Sera sitting on one of the armchairs Cole sitting by Chalithras leg, which she greatly appreciated, and started to fiddle with his hair.  
  
“When I was 10 my mom got really sick, and I was sent to stay with the clan, while she was in the hospital. While I was there, my mom… she died. Dad was too distraught, needed his space and I was supposed to stay with the clan, indefinitely.”

Chalithra breathed really deep a few times. She took Solas hand and laced her fingers with his.

“Denton Le Guen. the man you mentioned was often at the reservation, gambling in the casino. he took a shining to me.. got his way.. with me. I was 11. he was 23. it happened a few times before I was nearly killed. The clan had to looked the other way, because the family Le Guen is a rather influential family and it would be my word against his. But when his sick fantasies got me hospitalised, lots of questions were asked, questions that could be the end of the career of an aspiring politician.”

Solas had sat there through most of it but when Chalithra mentioned nearly dying, he stood up and faced the window. Chalithra kept going. Cole climbed into the sofa and hugged Chalithra like she hugged him earlier.

“So, his father paid a lot of money, both to the clan and to keep this off the records and from the press, and I mean a lot of money. It was decided that maybe it was better for the clan if I left to live with my dad again. His new wife didn’t like me, and I sure as hell didn’t like her, I wanted to be with Elder Deshanna, the only person that cared and  that helped me during a very traumatizing time but more than anything I wanted my mother back, and the days before she got sick. I ran away.”

Chalithra looked at Cole and started smiling, scratching his head. Cole smiled back.

“That’s when I met Cole. he helped me through most of the grieve. in his own way, is the reason I so happy go lucky. he also introduced me to music and the wonders it can do to heal.”  
  
No one said anything for a while.  
  
Sera all of sudden burst. “Hey! did you get the money? is that why you got a record deal with the Inquisition?”

Chalithra shook her head. “No. Never saw a dime of that money. The clan used it to renovate many of the clan housing, and turning the casino into a crafting center were the Dalish teach people how to create authentic Dalish craft and were the Dalish can sell their products.”

Sera whistled. “how much was it?”  
  
Chalithra smile. “I was never given a number, but dad told me later the house he bought shortly after I got back was paid mostly by that money and he was told that this was only a fraction, the rest the clan felt entitled to due to the grievance the clan had to suffer from my mom’s and dad’s relationship.”

“then, if they, erhm you were paid to shut up about it, then why is it being brought up now? and why did they change all the facts? I mean surely they must have known you’d find out.”

Solas that had remained silent for a while all of a sudden spoke up, without looking from the window.  
  
“It’s possible that Le Guen is the one providing the information, altering them slightly so that he doesn’t look too bad. Visiting a brothel when you are young and single doesn’t have to be a death sentence for a politician’s career, but raping a minor is. Chalithra, is there anyway you can proof you were 11 when it happened?”  
  
Chalithra furrowed her brow. She didn’t say anything for a while. “I heard through the grapevine that Denton Le Guen was made to marry into an influential family right after it all went down by request of his father. Since, unlike a lot of Dalish, I have a birth certificate proofing I was 11 when this sex trade business was supposed to go down, should be easy enough. plus the hospital records and the money transaction shouldn’t be to hard for your friend to dig up.”  
  
Solas started walking out. “I’ll contact Varric, tell him to follow the money. I have a lot of things to do today. I’ll call you as soon as I know anything.”  
  
Chalithra ran to him “Wait, what’s wrong? did I do something? Solas talk to me.”

Solas looked away. “It’s not you, I’m not angry with you, I’m.. It’s not you.” Solas planted a chaste kiss quickly on her forehead and then hurried out.

Chalithra went back into the living room and slumped into the sofa. Cole sitting on the edge of the sofa was the first one to speak “do you want to play some music?” Chalithra smiled. “Yes. Yes I do.”  
  
***  
  
it had been a week since that day when Sera burst into Chalithra’s room with the “Val Royeaux Times” in her hand. Varric’s piece was the main article, and true to his word, Varric had followed the money. turned out the Le Guen family had bought the land surrounding the reservation and was trying to the get Lavellan clan evicted, but the clan has deep roots and hadn’t broken any laws, except for the bribery the former Keeper Ga’hon had accepted for shutting up about the rape. but as Le Guen was at the very center of it, he got some city elves, humans and even dwarves to lie about sex trading within the reservation, which is very much banned, unlike the casino, and reason for complete and immediate deportation. and then the Le Guen family could scoop up the land and do what they had set out to do with it. The article that was supposed to be the final nail in the coffin turned out to be a full blown scandal for the Le Guen.

  
The editor thought it best to leave Chalithra completely out of the story, since what happened was effectively a criminal offence and that she could still press charges. Chalithra thought maybe Solas had something to do with that, but Varric assured her that once the editor knew how young she was when it happened and saw the hospital records he didn’t want to risk the shitstorm that would surely follow. They held onto the documents though, in case the Le Guen would try to sue the paper. Chalithra thought it was only fair, since Varric had almost single handedly save her clan.

Cole walked into the room with cups of coffee. “for her it was an old hurt, but for him it was a new hurt.” Chalithra just thought he was being more cryptic than usual, accepted the mug and scooted a little to give him space on the bed.  
  
***  
  
2 weeks since she had heard last from Solas. at first she was waiting for him to call, but then Josephine called. no one had seen or heard from him in a week. even for Solas that was alarmingly long time, and Josephine didn’t know where he lived, and he wasn’t answering his phone. Josephine was on the verge of breaking the only condition Solas had for them working together and getting Leliana to find his whereabouts. Leliana was the best private investigator in probably all of Thedas, but Chalithra assured them both that it would be better if she would go to his house, alone.

Luckily Solas had taken Chalithra to his house once. It took him a while to invite her to his home the first time, which he admitted was mostly because he was scared to disappoint her. He doesn’t quite fit the stereotype for a famous musician of his caliber, not really into the party scene and all that follows, or as he said, been to one, been to them all. She didn’t mind but she could he wasn’t convinced.  
  


Chalithra headed home grabbed a few things. Sera and Cole walked into her room. “gone off to find Baldy?” Sera was packed a ready to go somewhere, most like she had a gig with the Red Jennies, followed by a night of shenanigans.

Chalithra nodded and then looked at Cole. “any words from him?” Cole and Solas had become fast friends, and to her knowledge only person beside her and Josephine to have Solas’ private number. Cole said nothing. Chalithra took that as a no and hurried out.

***

his house was in the suburbia of Val Royeaux, closer to the forest than the lake, slightly up on a hill, so his balcony had a superb view over the valley below. Chalithra was relieved when she saw Solas’ car. that meant he was home and not out somewhere. it also worried her. as she walked in, the house looked like it did last time she was here but the comfortable atmosphere had been replaced by eerie and dreadful quiet.

“Solas?” Chalithra wandered through the house.

the house was pristine as was to be expected but there was a layer of dust. In the kitchen sink there were a plate and some silverware, but it had clearly been there awhile. with no take away boxes lying around, Chalithra started to worry about when was the last time he ate properly. She ventured into parts of the house she hadn’t seen. one door was ajar. she slowly opens it.

The room that probably usually would be immaculate, had music note sheet scattered around, books lying on the floor and the walls had dents in them. there were loads picture frame with a golden records in them, some of them were cracked. on the floor Solas was sitting writing down, scribbling a few words before crunching up the paper and throwing it away, grabbing another one. he looked gaunt, his eyes red with big dark circles, and his clothes, a plain t-shirt and sweatpants, looked like they might need to go into the washer. his hand had dried blood on them.  
  
“Oh Solas, what are you doing to yourself?!?” Chalithra grabbed his hands looking at them. Solas, stunned that she was here, didn’t say anything, just stared at her. “when was the last time you ate? or showered?” She ran her hand over his cheek. Solas just stared at his hands, like he just realised how they looked.

“Up up, let’s get you cleaned up and fed.” She took both of his hands and lead him into his bedroom. She grabbed a few clean clothes for him, and got him to go into his bathroom. She then went into his kitchen, made him an omelette and coffee. when she had finished making the food presentable and was about to bring it into his room, when she felt him embracing her from behind, hugging her tight. she looked his hands. The blood had been washed off which only amplified how badly cut and bruised they were. All of a sudden she remembered Cole’s words from before.

She turns to embrace him, standing on her tippytoes to reach him. “it happened a really long time ago. it’s not like you could’ve prevented it somehow.” Chalithra murmurs against his collarbone.

“Logically I know that.” He counters, letting her go slightly, pressing a hand to his chest. “It’s this part of me that feels like it happened mere days ago. I’m finding it hard to deal with.” Chalithra nods. “for her it was an old hurt, but for him it was a new hurt.”  Solas looks at her confused. “It’s something Cole said to me. It didn’t make sense until now.” Solas chuckled. Chalithra was really happy to see him smile again. “Come, you need to eat.”

After he ate, Solas went into the living room and found himself a notebook and pen and she cleaned up the kitchen. After She finished she looked through his books in the living room. most of his books were about music or history, but he also had a fair amount of paperback thrillers. She had never seen anyone as pleased as he was when she found herself an interesting book and sat on the sofa next to him. She read while he wrote in comfortable silence the entire day and evening.

It was well past 11 when Solas all of a sudden spoke up. “would you.. would you like to stay the night?” He stuttered. Chalithra was a little startled, looks at him bewildered, only to notice he was bright red, and looking at his notebook intensely, trying to not look at her. “Yes. Yes I would like that very much.” Chalithra said, feeling like her heart was about explode and grinning from ear to ear. His head snapped up when she answered, and when he looked at her, there was a look of happiness, mixed with relief and disbelieve.

She put their books on the living room table. took his hand, leading him into his bedroom. it wasn’t until she began to disrobe that he snapped out the trans he’d been in, and began undressing himself. before she took her t-shirt off, she looked at him. “I suppose you too read my hospital files?” Solas, who was now only wear his boxers brief, swallowed hard, and nodded. “I did.” now it was her turn to swallow hard and nod. “well, here goes.” She took off her t-shirt, exposing the scars for her past. Solas ran his fingers over them. neither of them spoke for awhile.

Chalithra finally broke the silence. “the past is in the past. let’s leave it there.” Solas exhaled deeply, nodded and pulled her slowly to him, into a agonizingly slow kiss.

***  
  
She awoke alone in his bed. since they had both kinda decide not to talk about the state he had been in the previous day, waking up alone made her worried. she hurried into the room she had found him in the previous day, but he wasn’t there. it was however clean, with only the dents in the wall as reminder of what went down. She finally found him on the balcony, sitting in a two seater, with a guitar. he would play a little and then write down, then play some more. she found herself a blanket, wrapped it around her and sat down next to him.

 **  
**She leaned over intending to kiss him on the cheek but he caught her lips with his. “On dhea” he said, with a cheeky grin. she grinned back, wrap her arm and the blanket around him and kissed him again. “On dhea to you too. new song?” She took up the music sheets. Solas nodded. “But it’s not quite ready. just yet. at all. actually I only have the chorus down.” Chalithra laughed hugged him tightly, before skipping into the kitchen to make them breakfast. She could hear him hum a lovely tune while she cooked. all of a sudden, her phone rang. Chalithra answered as quickly as she could. it was Josephine.  
  
"hello, I'm sorry I didn't call yesterday, Solas was really upset and I didn't want to upset him more. I sent you a text didn't you get it?" Chalithra answered before Josephine could get a word in. Solas walked in.

" Chalithra, I have some.. bad news. for you. it's about your clan."


End file.
